May 14, 2003
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ohmyGOD, i just ran into c.j. EAMES at the library! That tall, dark, husky slice of sex! I crushed on the guy frosh year like, terminally,dude. I was so shy fall quarter lugging my private school baby fat, I couldn't even say hi. Couldn't even sign his damn cast when he broke his foot skiing; I was so afraid I might FAINT right over him and break the rest of his leg. My skittishness must've set a precedent, cuz even though I lost all the weight by New Year's, now Ceege was all uncomfortable around me, cuz he thought like I didn't LIKE him before or something. I think he probably lost every last vestige of respect seeing me passed around Carole's friends. Too bad first impressions are indeliable; even trying to pass the time today was awkward. He acted super-rushed or as if his girlfriend was gonna pounce on him any second. I don't think he's serious over anyone, though; too busy getting together his new punk rock band. He did say they just got a recording contract. Fuck. Having a diehard crush sure is the pitts, man.
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