November 6, 2003
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Rather quiet lately with everybody studying for midterms. Got our first "screen test" back from acting class, an ad lib of a family dinner. Now, we have to edit it. God, my camera shyness actually showed! I came off really stiff, like one of those cheap electronic animals. As soon as teach said "Roll'em!" I froze, hardly able to move or talk during the entire twenty minute shoot. (They use a REAL cinema camera, by the way, not a rinky-dink video one everybody's used to.) I managed to blurt only one line, a silly filler I'm too embarrassed to repeat which sounded as if I were ordered to speak at gun point. I thought it would never be over. You could tell I was terrified to look towards the monitor and seem to be fixated on one side of the table. At the time my neck felt jerky, like a doll's, but on film it looks even worse, slow moving and mechanical, as if my head could really swivel a full 360 degrees. I wish we could totally edit me out, but it's impossible. Cripes! And I look so fat!
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